15 weeks {My Truth}.

I've been beating myself up for not posting more about my pregnancy thus far, however, I can't help but be honest in saying that this journey has not been easy. I wish I could say that I was one of those ladies who got pregnant and just went about their lives with this glamorous glow but that just isn't the case. I always expected pregnancy to be exhausting and I even expected to be sick from time to time but I was in no way prepared to be throwing up multiple times on a daily basis and to just feel like utter crap. I know this is all incredibly negative to say and I wouldn't change it for the world but I just wanted to put it out there for those women who are feeling the same way. It's okay to feel like you can't take it anymore: you just have to keep keeping on and remember to take care of yourself and the baby you're growing in the process. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming has become my mantra and knowing that in five short months I will be meeting my beautiful little baby makes this entire journey worth the temporary hell.

Thursday night I had been throwing up just about everything (including liquids) for next to 24 hours and I had a headache that I swore was going to kill me so I decided it was time to goto the ER. I could just tell that this wasn't my usual morning sickness.  Once I arrived they immediately started an IV and the doctor did a couple tests that determined that I had the stomach flu and that I was now severely dehydrated. I know it's going to sound really stupid to say out loud but I was relieved. I was relieved to know that I wasn't crazy and that feeling that absolutely terrible wasn't normal. They gave me three bags of fluids before I stopped throwing up and then I was sent home. 

I am now feeling like a new woman. I haven't even had the slightest bit of nausea since I left the hospital and it's been about three days now. I'm hoping that it sticks and the worst of my morning sickness is over. I'm telling you this to let you know that if you're feeling like you just can't take the pregnancy symptoms you're going through that maybe you should follow your instincts and get checked out. I had multiple nurse-call lines tell me that it was normal when it fact when I actually got checked out it wasn't. Being dehydrated isn't safe for you or your baby and can cause all sorts of negative affects. In this moment, you have to decide what to do for the safety of yourself and your baby. You have every right to feel frustrated, upset, impatient, and maybe even a little angry. So relish in it, have a cry fest, but then remember to find that silver lining and try to pick up the pieces of your remaining dignity and shrug it off, remembering that it's not going to last forever. There is nothing worse than feeling like you're at your whits end and then being told by another mother to just suck it up. It makes you wonder who these women had in their corner when they were walking in your shoes. Take their unrealistic advice, shrug it off, and do what you gotta do, girl. 

The biggest thing I've learned thus far is that you can't do everything. Being pregnant is a beautiful yet challenging experience and you just have to roll with the punches and know that not everything is in your control anymore. So just sit back and enjoy the ride and prepare for the whirlwind that is the rest of your life in motherhood :)